The world of tantra is full of sexual pleasure and sexual energy. It's both a state of mind and a physical deeper connection. An ancient Hindu practice, tantric sex encourages physical and spiritual awareness. If practiced correctly and effectively, it brings about a spiritual awakening that encourages participants to focus on the mind-body connection.
Described as a 'weaving and expansion of energy', tantric practice has been going on for over 5000 years. Tantric sex takes time, it takes practice, and it takes patience. But patience and practice are worth it as the sexual journey you'll embark on should bring about both mind-blowing sex and a deep connection with your partner.
So get ready for iPlaySafe to dive a little deeper into the sexual practice of tantra, how it can transform your sex life and why we should all give it a go.
Good question. Ask anyone what tantra involves and they'll usually reply with sex that lasts forever, is supposed to be amazing but I don't have a clue beyond that. So how do you do it?!
Let's break it down to this: it's a slow and intense way to engage in sexual intercourse. The end goal isn't necessarily the big climactic orgasm, it's about enjoying the full spiritual awakening, it's about being in the present moment, making the sexual journey, tuning into the different sensations sparking through your own and your partner's body. It's a meeting of minds and of bodies.
Think of it as slowing down your usual sexual practice. A tantra session could involve visualisation, slow movements, breathing techniques, eye contact; a sexual journey with purposeful connections both within ourselves and with our partner.
Well yes, hopefully. But this isn't what tantra is about. A tantric experience extends far beyond the physical connection to the deeper spiritual and mental connection. It’s goal is to unite sex with the heart and spirit. It invites us to almost pause the sex and be conscious of the moment. Mind-body connections can be so deeply powerful when we tune in to our own sexual being. If you can immerse yourself in the moment, be at one with your body, and melt into your partner's body you should embark on an unparalleled sexual experience.
Tantric sex practitioner Layla Martin summed up the intimate experience of tantra in a nutshell:
"What makes spiritual sexuality different from your everyday sex, is the same as what makes yoga different from stretching, and meditation different from just sitting".
Right, let's go a little deeper and equip you with some tantra tools to get that sexual journey on the road and those sex juices flowing.
Before we kick off just be at one with the fact that tantra takes time. You are not going to read these tips, put them into practice and be a tantra guru from day one. So lessen the pace, take a deep breath, and see this as the long game, the very long deep breathing tantric sex flow game.
Try not to get frustrated by it and allow your entire body to settle into it. It's a form of sex after all, what's not to enjoy?!
We have a tendency to focus on the end game, the big O that leaves us (hopefully) in a sweaty heap of arms, legs, and bodily fluid. But this isn't about achieving orgasm. The focus needs to be on foreplay and a purposeful aim to stretch out foreplay for as long as possible.
Your sexual experiences need to focus on full-body pleasure not jabbing away at a clitoris or rapidly firing your penis in and out until it explodes (sexy image right there!).
This is about your spiritual awakening so grab some candles, turn on some relaxing music, dim the lights, hide any technology, and set aside the time. You want to be fully present in the moment.
Like at the gym? Yep, kind of. Inhale deeply and then shake your whole body from top to bottom through the limbs. Your aim is to move sexual energy through your body.
Lying on the bed will associate sex with sleep. Make friends with the floor. Sit cross-legged in front of each on a bed of cushions on the floor. Make eye contact and embark on some soul gazing. It's amazing how many couples never look into each other's eyes.
Skin contact doesn't need to be about heading straight for the obvious spots. Spend time massaging different parts of your partner's body. Gentle stroking, even self-massage can stimulate the senses.
Move 'together', sit on your partner's lap if you want to, but move closer together to your partner's body. Move your own body and wrap it around your partner's body. Get skin on skin so close that you can feel your partner's heart beating against yours. As if they are communicating with each other to beat together.
Firm massage, light massage, intimate strokes, a light brush of the inner thighs with a finger or tongue. Take your time to physically wander around your partner's body bringing them as close to the point of orgasm as you can. This isn't to be rushed. This is where you settle into feeling at peace with your body and your partner. Take your time to explore.
Stand up and face each other, close enough that you can feel your hairs standing on end in anticipation. Lock eyes and don't look away. Place your left hand on each other's hearts. Breathe deeply, breathe slowly and breathe in tune with each other. This is tantra breathing and it plays a big part in the tantra practice.
We don't mean the hardcore end of BDSM. But bring out the props if they turn you on. Blindfolds, feathers, scarves for tying, and roleplay, can all be bought into the sexual journey of tantra. It's a turn in the road you can go down as part of the process.
If you orgasm easily through the missionary position or cowgirl, don't reach straight for that position. You are still in the go-slow process so choose a position where you can go slow. This is love-making not just sex and you are building to an intense orgasm rather than jumping on the speed train.
It's natural to breathe incredibly fast as we approach climax. Discipline comes into play here as you want to try and practice tantric breathing. Relax, focus on your breaths. As you breathe more deeply your muscles will relax. Women especially can tense up as they approach orgasm but try really hard to slow your breathing down, really zone in on your breaths. Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth, and let out a little sound if you want as you exhale. You'll move your body along in its tantric journey to a space of liberation, a more grounded and present space that will contribute to that much-awaited climax.
So there you have it. Some tips and tricks to delving into tantric sex.
Don't forget that your first foray might not be the hours that you envisaged. Let's face it we're mostly all used to the wham-bam now let me go to sleep type sex. Tantra invites you to use your imagination. It entices you to step away from reality, take your foot off the gas, and almost pause life for a moment whilst you explore the marvel of the human body.
So remove the pressure of the orgasm and make this about you and your partner and the wonderful forms that are our bodies.